Why Do I Feel Lonely Even When I Want to Be Alone?
Subtitle:
Navigating Social Fatigue and Authenticity Through the Lens of Avatamsaka Buddhism
Introduction: Connected, Yet Disconnected
We live in an era where we are constantly connected.
Social media makes it possible to peek into the lives of friends, influencers, and even strangers, anytime we want.
But strangely, the more we see, the lonelier we seem to feel.
We crave solitude. We enjoy solo trips to cafes, eating alone, and even watching movies by ourselves.
Yet, the moment we scroll through our feeds and see photos of happy gatherings, something stings inside.
“Why am I always alone?”
This quiet yet persistent question follows us around like a shadow.
Today, let’s explore this emotional paradox not just psychologically, but through the lens of Buddhist thought—specifically Avatamsaka Buddhism.
This ancient perspective offers surprisingly fresh insight into what it means to be human in the age of endless connection.
1. Lost in the Flood of Connection
This is the most hyper-connected generation in human history.
We spend all day chatting online, liking photos, and consuming others’ stories in real time.
Yet, this constant connection rarely leaves us feeling fulfilled.
Instead, we become trapped in endless comparison.
They are living their best lives—brunching in picturesque cafes, vacationing in exotic places, celebrating milestones.
Meanwhile, we eat convenience store sandwiches alone, wondering:
“Why is my life so ordinary?”
The more we connect, the lonelier we feel.
The more relationships we accumulate, the less we seem to know who we really are.
2. What Does Avatamsaka Buddhism Teach Us About This?
Avatamsaka Buddhism says this:
“You only exist as yourself through your relationships with others.”
This single sentence captures the core wisdom of this philosophy.
Avatamsaka Buddhism does not view the world as a collection of isolated individuals.
It sees all beings as part of a vast, intricate web of interdependence—what is called the Dharma Realm.
Every being exists only because of the relationships that sustain them.
In this view, you are not a self-contained island.
You are a reflection of all the lives that touch yours.
Your very identity emerges through these relationships.
This is the essence of dependent co-arising.
Avatamsaka’s famous teaching encapsulates this beautifully:
“One is all, and all is one.”
You are not just you.
You are every interaction, every connection, every ripple you create and receive.
If you feel lonely and unseen, it may not mean you lack relationships.
It may mean you are struggling to express your authentic self within them.
3. From Consumer to Creator: A Modern Interpretation
In today’s world, we often passively consume life.
We scroll endlessly through social feeds, comparing, envying, and feeling smaller with each swipe.
But Avatamsaka Buddhism suggests that we are not meant to be mere consumers of reality.
We are meant to co-create reality by expressing our unique presence into the web of life.
Your story, your thoughts, your experiences—when you actively share them with others,
you’re not just “posting content.”
You are participating in the great act of revealing who you are through relationship.
Your true self emerges through connection, not by retreating from it.
4. What I Learned from Writing This Blog (My Experience)
To be honest, this blog itself has been my teacher.
When I started writing, I had no audience. No comments. No reactions.
And yet, I kept writing.
Why?
Because writing itself became my way of connecting with the world.
Even if no one responded, the sheer act of offering my voice into the world connected me to something larger.
I still remember the first time someone clicked on my post.
That tiny trace of attention felt like proof that my words had entered someone’s world—even briefly.
That simple encounter, however fleeting, gave me a strange sense of belonging.
It made me realize:
I am not writing alone.
I am writing within a web of relationships—some seen, some unseen, all meaningful.
This blog is not just a personal journal.
It’s my offering to the Dharma Realm—my way of showing up, sharing my authentic self, and seeing how that self ripples outward.
Each post is not the end, but a continuation of the dialogue between me and the world.
5. Conclusion: Your Story Matters, Too
Maybe you feel like your life is too ordinary to share.
Maybe you think no one would care if you disappeared from social media tomorrow.
But if you’re reading this, you are already proof that connections happen in the smallest ways.
Even this simple act—reading my story—has created a relationship between us.
And that relationship shapes us both.
You are already part of the great web of life.
Even in your solitude, you are connected.
So, what story will you offer?
What piece of yourself will you send into the world?
Because when you do, you’ll discover that the more authentically you show up,
the brighter this whole interconnected world becomes.
Comments
Post a Comment